Day +60

WBC- 2.4
Hgl- 10.8
Hct- 33.5
Plt- 83
ANC- 1.7

Claire was released from the hospital and came home on Monday after a 5+ day stay. It was never determined what caused the fever and drop in blood pressure. There is a teeny tiny chance that two of her drugs decided to not play well together, but most likely it just goes in the category of unexplained fevers. (A category that most cancer moms are very familiar with.) Her doctors didn't want to go a whole week without seeing her again, so we had a clinic appointment today. Claire and I were both laughing about how awkward it was. I mean, we loved seeing all of the nurses, the psychologist, the nurse practitioner, and our old oncologist (who popped her head in) because they are, after all, our biggest social group. But when Dr. H came in, Claire had been watching a funny YouTube clip of the top 10 worst reality shows. She paused the screen when he opened the door, and as luck would have it, it paused right on a close up shot of a chubby person in a tight swimming suit. Just the bottom half. Dr. H said, "What are you looking at?!?" Super awkward. Then he asked, "So, what fun things have you done this week?" Wait, what? Can Claire do fun things? I thought she wasn't allowed to actually DO anything! We had to dig a little bit. "Um, we went to the mall and did one lap around, and Claire cooked her own lunch one day (sausage and onions) and a friend came over and they watched a movie." So awkward.

Being in the hospital was definitely a setback. Claire has very little mobility in her ankles and calves. She has no balance. This is probably a late effect of the very heavy chemo she received in the five months prior to transplant. She is going to start working with her physical therapist three times a week, in addition to doing her exercises on her own. He wants her to use a walker when she is out and about. (Not at all awkward for a 19 year old.) Also, Nurse Practitioner D pointed out that since her last clinic appointment, when she was taken off TPN (IV nutrition), and which was 11 days ago, she has lost almost 8 pounds. She talked about the possibility of an NG (feeding) tube. I reminded her that Claire threw up two NG tubes and one NJ tube, and that she couldn't tolerate any of the several feeding formulas we tried, which she would throw up every morning. So for now, we have to calorie pack. Of course, we've tried that before. But we will try again. Do you know how frustrating it is for a girl like Claire, who was headed to culinary school and who loves to eat, to struggle with that! And how frustrating it is for a girl like me, who also loves to cook and to eat, but who needs to lose the twenty pounds she has gained since her daughter's cancer relapse, to have a house full of ice cream and butter? I actually made Claire a smoothie this afternoon and used heavy cream as the liquid. Yep. 'Tis a puzzlement.

               Cool headphones over a super cute beanie? Awkward.

A photobombing grandma blowing her nose in the background? Awkward. (And for the record, Claire ate one whole chocolate chip pancake and about 4 bites of cheesy potatoes. You don't need to know what I ate.)

                A very awkward grocery cart. I'm not even a big ice cream person, and can usually resist, but Sprinkled Animal Cookie ice cream could very easily change your life. Trust me on this one.